Kate’s blog

How many pair of shoes do you have? Out of those pairs, how many do you wear more than a few times a year?
Submitted by fightinggale.

More accurately, how many have I never worn?  Let's see...

1. Black and purple knee-high boots (aka the Boots of Happiness)
2. Tan mid-calf clunky boots
3. Black knee-high lace up boots with ribbons (mid-heel)
4. Burgundy very high heel ankle boots (very expensive, too high to walk in)
5. Black high heel ankle boots with buckle
6. Black snakeskin knee-high boots
7. Black suede knee-high boots (flats)
8. Beige suede mid-calf boots (bought in Australia because I foolishly went on holiday without any boots)
9. Brown mid-calf, wedge heel boots (from Argentina - same reason as above)
10. Black pointy kitten heel, mid-calf boots (v. expensive aka Break-up Boots)
11. Brown pointy kitten heel, knee-high boots
12. Slightly metallic black, knee high, stiletto boots (round toe)
13. Black knee-high clunky boots with buckle
14. Cream knee-high high heeled boots
15. Red patent peep-toe wedges
16. Red silk peep-toe slingbacks
17. Black kitten heels with punched hole patterns
18. Black t-bar shoes (mid heel)
19. Red strappy sandals with flowers on
20. Red suede high heel sandals
21. Black patent brogues (mid heel)
22. Black mary janes with four straps
23. Black and grey (antique Italian leather) high heels with ribbons (very high, very beautiful)
24. Metallic purple adidas pumps
25. Pink and grey adidas pumps
26. Pink converse (in tatters)
27. Tan kitsons with roses on
28. Green suede and leather high heels
29. Electric blue suede wedge sandals
30. Pink polka dot mary janes
31. Pink suede stilettoes
32. Turquoise metallic kitten heels
33. Gold 40's style strappy wedges
34. White and black patent high heel mary janes
35. Black leather pumps with jewels on
36. Purple satin peacock slippers
37. Black velvet and satin stilettoes (too big, too high, only worn at home)
38. Brown high heels with satin bows
39. Purple snakeskin kitten heel mules
40. Satin brocade high heels
41. Gold leather pumps
42. Navy patent high heels
43. Brown pointy flats
44. Black pointy flats
45. Black suede wedge sandals
46. Black suede kitten heel sandals
47. Bronze sandals
48. Turquoise and gold beaded sandals
49. Lilac strappy high heel sandals
50. Brown cord wedges (not very comfortable)

There are probably more but I'm started to rack my brains for them and 50's a nice round number, hey?

I'm a bit late because I've been trying to think of interesting things I haven't already shared with you all at one time or another.

1.  I have a fear of doors slamming, especially in quiet places.  This results in me hovering outside offices, while I gently pull the door closed.  Sometimes, I'll pull too hard, or won't realise that I'm standing too close and it'll close abruptly and in my ears, with an earth-shattering crash.  Then I'll jump and apologise to the door and run away.

2.  I was in hospital for a few weeks when I was nearly three although I'm still not entirely sure what was wrong with me.  Apparently it was quiet serious, but I mainly remember the good parts - my own set of Fuzzy Felt, the x-rays and the toilet cistern landing on my mum's head while she was on the loo.  When I came out I was very frail and skinny and I remember having been somewhere with my dad on a Saturday and whining that I was tired and wanted to be carried on the way home.  He wouldn't pick me up because it was still Sabbath and you can't carry then (yes, I know, it makes no sense to me either) but because I was whiny his friends all laughed and said 'oh, just carry her' and he carried me the last few yards home.  One of these friends came to see us in Israel, after mum's funeral and he took one look me and told me the same story - I probably hadn't seen him since it happened, but he remembered me, and it.

3.  My ex-boyfriend once hit me on the back of the head and I saw stars.  I didn't think that really happened in real life, only in Tintin books and cartoons.

4.  Apparently, I have scoliosis, but still find this hard to believe because surely someone would have noticed before now?  Isn't it the sort of thing you know about from childhood? 

5.  One of the holes in my ears was pierced three times: the first time by a boy who took out his own earring and stuck it straight in my ear.  Unsurprisingly, it went septic and I had to go to hospital for a telling off and antibiotics.  The second time was when a friend brought her mum's piercing gun to the pub and I thought it would be a good idea to let her at me in the toilets.  She barely got it in the lobe and it's lucky it didn't go into my neck.  I eventually admitted defeat and went to get it redone at a shop.

6.  One of my favourite memories of my mum is sitting on her knee on the black, vinyl sofa in our house in Leeds and singing along to 'Save all your kisses for me'.  I still unashamedly love that song.

7.  My ideal job would be sit quietly somewhere, in a room full of books, doing quiet research (with special, non-slamming doors).  I'm jealous of my dad, who, for a while in his career, was just paid to think.

8.  8, I forget what 8 was for... oh yes, the nails on the middle fingers of my hands don't match, because I used to suck the fingers on my right hand and damaged the nail beds.  That sounds less grim than it was - I'd gnawed through to the bone, wore down my baby teeth and had open sores on my fingers which I still put in my mouth.  Eventually, the only way they could stop me doing it was to let me wear nail polish if I stopped and I stopped right away.  I was 5.  But a very glamorous 5.

Going down

• Everyone who gets in my way on my commute to work.  Yes you!  Man walking slowly, whilst reading the paper.  And you!  Girl with backpack and whiny boyfriend.  Get out of my way!  Where's Babs to bring back Death Tube?
• Any advert concerning 'delicate underarm skin'.  I'm sorry, since when was 'delicate underarm skin' a problem?  What are the alleged symptoms?  Genius work on the marketing people, for managing to sell yet another non-product and I'll keep an eye out for the forearm lotion, or earlobe gel.  Please: send me something useful, like shin cream, where I actually do have dry skin.  (Although, on second thoughts, I reckon I could make a fortune on earlobe gel, flogging it off to old ladies who spent too long wearing too-heavy earrings).
• Jimmy Carr

Going up

• Blogging at work!  Yeah!
• Remember that essay I was struggling over a few months back?  I got a first!  A first!! 

Normally I try to have more positive than negative points, and I'm sure there are more positive, happy things in my life, I just can't remember what they are (not in a bad way, I'm currently absorbed with lunch, to be followed by more chocolate from the snack box, so I can't concentrate) but the fact that I got a FIRST is filling me with more than enough delight.

What are your neighbors like? (The ones you live near or next to, not the ones in your Vox neighborhood!)

I couldn't ask for better neighbours - Jamesdownstairs very quickly became a real friend after it transpired that we already had some mutual acquaintances.  For the past ten years, it's been like an edgier episode of Friends; running into each other's flats in our jimmers for cups of tea (or gin) and gossip.  We've heard each other's rows with boyfriends (and pretended that we hadn't) and also heard various naughtiness (with subsequent teasing).  When I got made redundant a few years ago, J got me a job at his friend's agency - the same thing happened to him last year and he's working there now - it's like a half way house for bewildered travel agents.  We also have very similar taste in music so neither of us complains if it's on too loud and we've been to quite a few amazing gigs together.

In more recent years, my succesful campaign of indoctrination has meant that various of my Vox neighbours are now neighbours in real life as well so I couldn't ask for more.

Yesterday, I went to see this and a thoroughly good time was had by all.

If I knew how to put videos in, I could share with you the delights of the Russian entry singing 'Ice, Ice Baby' whilst tweaking their nipples to demonstrate just how cold their lady is towards them and the Estonians dancing in their tiny pvc leotards.  But, I am technically deficient, so you'll just have to go over to the site and see for yourself.  Or, you could buy tickets and see it in real life. 

I'm all fired up now, and getting ready for the proper contest.  I might insist everyone has detachable outfits so we can all do a big 'reveal' at half time.

UPDATE: I've had a text from the glamorous hostess Boyka! telling me that my friends can have a special 2 for 1 offer until Saturday.  Message me if you're interested.

Forget Weight Watchers, Fat Smash, Low GI, Dr Atkins.  Paul McKenna - take your power of suggestion and just keep walking on by.  All you really need to lose weight, is to accidentally come across an advert for a film featuring Russell Brand, while you're eating your tea.  The minute he appeared on screen, I immediately lost my appetite.

Who would have thought he'd ever serve any kind of purpose?

You might remember about a year or a half ago, when I first hurt my back, to the point that I couldn't actually get dressed, and my boss huffed and sighed and hung up on me when I rang him from the hospital (because he thought I was lying) and then sent a car to fetch me and haul me back to the office.  He grudgingly conceded that I did look like I was in pain when I turned up an hour later, in tears of pain having crawled up four flights of stairs...

I then had to put up with months of crap doctors ('it's muscular, now go out would you' 'but why does my leg hurt?  And why do I have pins and needles in my foot?) before changing to my new lovely doctor who referred me for physio and having the lovely physio who referred me to an orthopaedic specialist, who whizzed me through an MRI scan (where I got played Blondie to cover up the noise) which confirmed that I've had a slipped disc all this time (probably caused by the original muscle damage when I wasn't allowed to rest it) and up to yesterday, where I wound up in hospital under general anasthaetic AND with an epidural, having a series of injections in my spine.  Steroid injections apparently, so expect me to be kicking in doors and turning over cars any time soon.

Anyway, that's by the by, although obviously messages of sympathy will always be well-received.  Really, I just wanted to mention my fabulous friends; Ms P who collected me from the hospital with a bunch of roses and took me home and fed me and made sure I didn't drown in the bath/fall down the stairs/sign any legal documents, the lovely G, who took over on Sunday with lunch and cakes and a remote benefactor who cheers me up with assorted format messages and has given me the run of their downloading account.  I didn't tell my dad, because I don't want to worry him so it's really meant a lot to have my Tooting family come to the fore.

Minor things vexing me today:

1. Cold.  My windows are rattling and it's quite chilly in here.  I hate being cold.
2. Losing my MP3 player on Sunday.  Ok, it was free from nectar points and I had just noticed that the wire was hanging on the headphones, but still.  Bah.
3. The evil witch on the train today, who not only used the phrase (whilst bellowing into her blackberry) 'have you taken it offline to the client' then dropped her banana skin on the floor of the train. 

That's it.  Everything else is ace.

Special mention goes to:

1. My new job is marvellous.  I spent today at one of the outlet stores, with instructions to shop 'to see how it all works'.  I also get sent out for lunch, go home on time and they all got me cake for my birthday.
2. The glitter theme of my presents
3. Continuing over-excitement in general.
4. Steph for helping me clear up on Sunday, especially for that hour or so when I could barely raise my head.

...but I got a new job!

As of 5th March, I'm going to be working for a fancy retail development company, in fancy offices (probably ones which don't have a toilet in the kitchen) just behind Selfridges and for a boss who doesn't seem like the sort of person who would have a go the day after you get back from your mum's funeral for not clearing your desk before you left.  Oh, and with a rather large pay rise as well.

Tra la!  I can now afford to treat myself to those little luxuries, like a hair cut, a pension and that filling the dentist suggested I have a couple of months ago.

Up yours, old job.

February is like the Tuesday of the year, is it not?  Too long till the next weekend/holiday/my birthday and the good intentions of January/Monday have long since been abandoned.  Having said that, this year has been supreme fun, so maybe it's a new precedent.

Things I loathe today:

1. Postmen who ring the bell and run away before you have a chance to answer the door, forcing you to run up the high street in your jimmers, waving the red 'While you were out' card, to claim your package.
2. Stupid reviews of stupid Spanish radio shows.  (It's stupid because I wrote it.  Trust me)
3. Tiscali, who replied to my weary email of 'please don't make me ring your customer service line as they hung up on me after making me crawl behind all my furniture for 40 minutes to look at sockets' with 'given the nature of your enquiry have you tried calling customer service?'

Things boiling my kettle today:

1. BBC Radio 6
2. Knitting in public
3. Getting way, way, way too excited about the weekend.  Already!
4. Wearing hand made socks
5. Finding old photos, thought to have been stolen by an ex.  Very flattering photographs at that, so a Good Find.